Formula Pun – #01

There’s been some Vroom-belivable puns speeding around the course this week.

Who is the best Italian actor to burn a CD? Robert de NERO

How do you drive out of a field of sheep? A ewe turn

What does Berlin singer Terri Nunn say to the wait staff when she’s on the Atkins diet? Take my bread away

What the difference between a bodybuilder and someone who won’t take the stairs up to the top floor? One lifts weights and the other waits for lifts

What’s a dog’s favourite whiskey? Jack Spaniels

How does a Rasta exercise? On a Dreadmill

What do you call a light-fingered funeral director that’s also a pirate? The Plunder-taker

What did Joe Goddard, Alexis Taylor, Al Doyle, Sarah Jones, Owen Clarke, Felix Martin, Grovesnor, Charles Hayward have for dinner? Hot Chips (they all were or are members of keyboard band Hot Chip)

If you listen to NPR while you sleep at night you’ll be WOKE in the morning

The Pits-Stop for Dirty Jokes

Did you hear about the poor prostitute, she was living Gland to Mouth

The Internet has more porn than you can shake your stick at.

Where can you get shoes for your dick? A Knob Cobblers

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