Gossip #2

Our snoopers have been sniffing and sifting to bring you the juiciest pieces of Celebrity Gossip out there. Remember you’ll always hear it first, on the site that’s the worst – SillyBeggar.com

Clint Eastwood
Sources can confirm Craggy Cowboy, Coffin-Dodger Clint has now also forgot how many bullets are in the chamber. And this time it’s not a ploy to put the shits up some punk. Old age is wreaking havoc on his memory. Just don’t forget you’re an amazing actor and father of some talented actor boys.

Will Smith
Fresh from playing the much rubbed lamp’s genie in Aladdin, Will has picked up a few lamp wishes himself. Or should I say has picked up a few lamps from Wish.com (Asian Wholesaler). Why he hasn’t gone on Alibaba.com and played up the Aladdin reference more is lost on your dear reporter.

Usain Bolt
Jamaica’s World’s Fastest man Usain has really drop the ball (baton) on the thorny issue of Steroid Abuse. When a throng of reporters questioned him as he drove out of his Villa home he said “Get out of my Whey”. Tsk tsk tsk! Whey Protein Powder is a much used supplement for athletes and many experts see it as a gateway to the more dangerous and effective anabolic steroids. I feel his gold medals don’t shine so brightly anymore.

Nicole Kidman
Someone might have had a major case of baby brain after giving birth to daughter Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Yes Sunday Rose was born on a Monday. The estate’s lame response that the name is “inspired” by famous Australian art patron Sunday Reed is a bit like locking the gate after the horse has bolted. You fucked up here Kidman.

Neil Armstrong
As the legend goes it was supposed to be Buzz “Buzzboy” Aldrin as the first gent on the moon but he was Strong Armed by a certain Armstrong. Buzz was duped into checking if his fly was down and once distracted Neil dived out the rocket door and made that garbled speech. Buzz still rues to this day and the fact that with the low gravity on the moon it’s impossible for one’s flies to be down.

Emma Watson
For someone that makes a big show of feminism you will be shocked to learn that Ms Watson doesn’t follow back my sister or my mother on twitter. Two of the key strong women in my life, yet not good enough for Chris Watson’s little girl to click a “follow” button for. As they say, there’s a special spot in hell for bold little girls like you Emma.

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