Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jennifer may love Hewitt but Jennifer also loves chatting to married men about where the sand goes when she’s at the beach.
Galileo Galilei
Galileo might have been adamant that the sun was the centre of the universe. But his bastard son was hardly the centre of his universe. It wasn’t until the lutenist was 13 that he legitimized him. Awkward.
John Wayne
The Duke might have been famous for is slow drawl approach to delivering lines but it’s believed that when he was quick “on the draw” when it came to getting down on one knee. Just ask any of his THREE wives.
Teri Hatcher
The former famous actress is, allegedly, known to many as Teri Hatcher Parking Space Snatcher. Owing to her penchant for gazumping car spaces at shops and cinemas. And do you know the spaces up the front that are only for the disabled? Well Mrs Hatcher acts like she doesn’t know that.
Queen Latifah
Don’t accuse me of treason but as far as this Gossip Girl is aware, Queen Latifah may not be a member or heir to any royal dynasty. She may have many types of glittering golden awards for her music but a gold crown sovereign lineage is not on her shelf.
Tiger Woods
The once great golfer has admitted to a few close friends that he sometimes deliberately hits the ball into the rough so he can take a sly shite.
George Lucas
Mister “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” Lucas was seen by wait staff at a luxurous Hollywood restuarant leaving at half ten. Reports say that he spent a couple of idel minutes looking up at the night sky. Could he be getting new inspiration for more Star Adventures? Here’s hoping.
Maya Angelou
You may know why the caged bird sings but no one for the life of them knows how or why you can sleep still wearing your tights!
Roald Dahl
Sources close to the Estate of the author have said they’ve recently found boxes of unpublished pornograhpic short stories that were promptly burnt by his heirs and the ashes buried to keep the secret shame from coming out. Oops my bad!
Tim McGraw
The country singer might be able to woo the audiences with his songs but he’s allegedly not had as much look keeping schtum about his links to militia groups throughout the frontier. We knew he liked Faith Hill but turns out he has faith in hill-people too.
Cameron Diaz
One of my little birdies has spotted Cam at a soup kitchen. That may seem on brand with the charitable actress but she must have fallen on lean times as she was on the other side of the cauldron of broth.
Plato
The recent Met Gala was noted for the continued absence of receding-haired clever clogs Plato. A man many claim as the father of higher learning still hasn’t found a way of resurrecting his tramp-bearded body. Come on brain-box pull the finger out and support the arts. ∎