Rap RIP

As the moon completes another cycle we must mourn another spate of dead Soundcloud Rappers. They shone ever so bright before they were cruelly taken from us to the most I of VIP parties; the afterlife. But they will be mourned by their followers, their crews and, mostly, by their over eager investors. Their corpses aren’t feeding worms for they are collaborating and fronting now on the right side of Jesus. We will remember you all by the tracks you’ve left online. And until the servers are disconnected we will always remember you. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Rap in Peace.

Lun Cha Bull

Gunned down when a game of Uzi Hide ‘n Seek went wrong. Cha Bull will be remembered for his catchphrase “Gimme that on a burger” which sent the world alight briefly in 2017

4tune @son

Born the son of Florida Senator 4tune@son hit it big in his early teens when he started throwing wads of cash out his window as he’d do laps of the nighbourhoods. His breakthrough hit “Hoes E.A.” featured in an ad for AdamandEve. As well as attack ads against his father

Daisy Chain$

The Emo-Rap Suicide Queen, Daisy Chain$, famed for her albums “Whortless”, “Otto eRotica” and “R U GDPR Cumplyent?” was sadly killed when a lighting rig fell on her while shooting a Music Video where she was crying black tears. Her management are working on touring the footage to fulfil her commitment to art, music and ticket holders

CoNtxt $en$it!v€

Tennis mad CoNtxt $en$it!v€ (21), perhaps best known for his beefs with Pi$$pondant and Huge Bone Villa, died of dehydration after falling asleep in a Jacuzzi filled with champagne. He’ll be missed by his two kids: Racket and Ball. His management have said they’ll be taking his ashes to the place he always dreamed he’d go to one day, the Wimbeldon Centre Court.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.