ReFAUXrendum

Love democracy but hate that it happens so rarely? Tick these boxes and feel like you’ve made a really smart and grown-up decision like the professional person you are.

I APPROVE of Universal Pricing for all alcoholic drinks. All 500ml beverages will cost €1.25. And a bag of Meanies to be 75c or in direct correlation to the price of drink………………………..Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE of the conscription of all able-bodied 12-21 year-olds citizens to Summer long Football camps every summer until we win a World Cup………………………… Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE the reclassification of the pronunciation of “aluminium” to “aluminium” and shall henceforth never again be pronounced as “aluminium”………………………. Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE to the repealing of “Mistletoe Law” to be replaced with considered and non-compulsory handshakes……………….. Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE of the declassification of any and all government documents pertaining to the Ancient Aliens that built Newgrange and the surrounding structures………………………… Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE of the introduction of “Take a chip, leave a chip” in Irish restaurants……………………………… Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE of the regulation of Film length to 90 minutes with exceptions for good Scorsese movies……………………………………… Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE of the recategorization of “TWAT” as a lesser swear and to be more in line with “crap” and “piss”…………………………. Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE of the proposal to lower the maximum age for National Lottery Winners to 55 years old …………………….. Yes ☐ No ☐

I APPROVE of the unification of bin day to Wednesdays and I APPROVE the renaming of wednesdays to “Waste-days”…………………. Yes ☐ No ☐

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