The Hobo Code

All that have died here have received very flattering gravestone epitaphs. Even the pricks

Don’t talk about beaks. And definitely don’t refer to them as a bird’s nose or lips

Light a candle when the coast is clear (the owner’s are asleep/ dead) and let all the boys in for a knees up

Eggs are served sunny side up. But if the yolks are broke you are at the wrong house

Mouth breathers need to wear a bandana

There is a spot at the corner of the industrial estate where you can watch Sky News through the window of an office

At a buffet this means there are spaces under the tables where you can get the food that slides off people’s plates

Don’t bum smokes here as they are ciggy biters

Golfers often leave money in the Pitch and Putt holes

The “wasabi nuts” sold here are actually “wasabi peas”

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