Ugly People’s Opinions on: Sugar Tax

This tax doesn’t just mean we’ll be saving the kiddies’ teeth. But also the lives of the Dentists. It’s a dark truth that their profession are the most likely to top themselves. Here’s to the tooth-smiths living long lives.

At first I was worried that Apprentice UK star Sir Alan Sugar was been taken to task by the Queen’s Revenue. But I was soon relieved that it wasn’t a millionaire getting taxed but the poor that are partial to a sweet drink. I slept soundly that night. Albeit shivering with the cold and riddled with anxiety at my outstanding debts.

I just have to laugh when I think of how sugar tax will affect Cotton Candy. These funfair people have never paid a penny of tax and they ain’t going to start anytime soon. Or has a cow jumped over the moon?

Is no one worried about retaliation from the kids come Hallowe’en time should the sugarful sweets be replaced with tasteless raw carrots? It’s Trick or Treat! And a lot of these kids (mainly those from low income estates) have nothing but an education in destruction. And we just got the windows done!

As a lonely bachelor that lets his dreams get away from him I’m very much on board with this taxation. Living in an apartment complex I am always expecting the hot birds next door to be calling in to “borrow some sugar” which as everyone knows is code for a kiss, a gobble and a wobble. With the price hike I expect more and more stacked and sugar starved stunners to be gracing my front door.

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